Motivation is such an interesting thing, because sometimes I have it and sometimes I don’t. Also, it is like the hardest thing to find but the easiest thing to lose. I know the way that I feel when I am really motivated to train and to eat a healthy diet and work hard on our blog. It feels incredible, I feel unstoppable and more psyched the harder that I try and the more that I do. I also notice that my affect is generally more positive and that I am around more interesting people. Maybe that is because I am putting positive vibes out to others or maybe because I am happier and people want to spend more time around me.
What about when it is gone? Like I have no idea where to find more of it. Like lately I haven’t even wanted to spray and that is my favorite about being an outdoor enthusiast. It’s the only part that I am any good at. I’m not sure if this is something going on inside of me or if it is an external factor weighing on me. I am struggling to hold the simplest of boundaries with myself which I think is what is the most frustrating. It’s frustrating because I believe that I am really good at setting an expectation for myself and sticking with them. I educate people about the importance of boundaries with themselves and advocating for what they need. I don’t know where my internal motivation has gone but I need it back bad.
I have heard from many people that psych and motivation ebbs and flows which is fine if the case is that I am not excited and motivated right now, but what about my mental health and the toll this is taking. I am less upbeat and generally more negative, which is frustrating. I need to be happier. There is a complex answer to a simple question, I think that I am overwhelmed with other things that I have got going on in my life, which makes everything else feel harder. I need to continue examining my life to find out what the next move to take is; do I quit my job? Do I move away from Salt Lake? Do I go see a professional? I’m not sure, I know that I need to do something so I can take care of myself better.