Traveling… Jesus

“Holy Shit that’s a cheap flight” are usually the words I utter before I decide to go to a far-flung location for a trip. Every time it’s the same flying isn’t so bad, 12 hour layover In Orlando is no big deal or I’m saving so much I can stay for another week. Then I get to the airport and the first thing that happens is fucking TSA trampling our fourth amendment rights! Then I get crammed onto the sky bus, where it’s impossible for me to find a space in the overhead bins because no one knows how to pack one of those things efficiently. The first leg is usually fine, I get some sleep and then i’m at my first layover. I do good job taking care of myself; I go for a walk or maybe do some yoga. Then back to the sky bus it is for the second leg of my journey. During the second leg of my journey no sleep comes; I toss and turn listen to some podcasts get bored as fuck because sitting still is not what I’m best at. By the time the plane lands I would rather have bamboo shoved underneath my fingernails. I’m so wound up I could pull my hair out. All I want is to go for a walk; but this is usually my longest layover. Most recently seven hours in Dallas. Now DFW in my opinion is a nice airport; but not nice enough to spend seven hours. There is only so many times I can ride on the God Damn train before I want to kill someone. And then the most fucked up thing happens, my longest flight of the trip. When it’s finally time for me and the other peasants to board the plane I’m so irritated I could shit. during this flight I usually get up one or two times and wander to the bathroom not because I need to go but because I need something to do. As I walked by the emergency exits I fantasized about pulling the latches and jumping for freedom. The thought is nice but I’m a coward and walk back to my seat. Checking my watch every 90 or so seconds then excitement overwhelms me as the pilot comes over the loudspeaker and says we’re making our final descent. Touchdown FUCK YES I am here now get me of this plane. As I exit the jet way I get instant relief and then I say something like “fuck flying” or “I’m never going to do that again”. But as type 2 fun always goes I forget the suffering and agree to do it all over again!

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